Life

So life's frustrations have once again caught up with me. Why is it that everytime I meet a cute guy it all falls apart in less then a couple months?? This time though I really thought it was different! We didn't meet in some drunkingly juvenile manner, we were introdcued by a mutual friend that thought we would make a good match. I know all the stigma around 'blind dates' but this was more of a blind introduction. Neither of us were looking for anything, it just came about. We had a great time together, both able to understand each other's weirdness and social 'flaws'. It all seemed too good to be true. Here i meet this great guy, who likes me and is adorable!! Well as soon i start to think things couldn't get any better, I am right. They can't. They get worse. It turns out that we have loads of mutual friends. These mutual friends like to gossip. I hear he is hanging out with this girl (not me). I think that's ok, we aren't exclusive or anything. Then he stops calling. Don't panic, breathe. I will call him. He's distant. Doesn't want to make plans like he usually does. Doesn't ask how i've been or how things have been going and so on. I hear things are serious with this new girl. I want to die. That's obviously very over dramatic but it really hurts. I mean guys never like me, I'm always the 'friend' or the one with the great presonality. It's not that I'm hideous, just kinda plain. So the whole reason for this blog is that I ran into him and her on campus today. I mean i literally ran into them. She's cute and he didn't say hi or even look at me. I hate that she's cute. But the world keeps spinning and i keep moving so I guess all hope is not lost!

Just a few things that are on my mind....

Ruts are the worst aren't they?? Trying to claw your way back to sanity and normalcy proves to be trickier then you might think. But what is normalcy? Maybe the rut happened for a reason. Sometimes I feel like it's the universe's way of saying stop what you are doing, change direction!! I have had many a rut in my time, mind you my 'time' may seem shorter than most, but i still feel like my experiences have taught me things.
Well the whole reason i brought up the rut thing is that I think I may have fallen into one...again!! So here's the low down... I need direction! I'm in this weird transition period in my life where big decisions need to be made, I'm talking life changing ones!!! What to do, what to do?? I don't necessarily want the decisions I make to define who I am, but then again maybe I do.....